I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
