you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
