do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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