so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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