I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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