Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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