redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize