thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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