That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
