Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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