No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
