yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
