....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
