erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
