Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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