i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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