in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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