remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
