stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
