sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
there is glitter all over my balls
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
