Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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