I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
