i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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