puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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