someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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