Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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