So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
