I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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