I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
