your parents love me but you hate me
"it" just moved
North Korea, Best Korea!
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
