I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
