please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
