We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
