Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
