You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
