omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
