i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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