the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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