im six kinds of drunk right now
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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