Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
