Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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