oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
