I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
