What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
