I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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