You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you would pick up someone in the library
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
