i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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