Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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