Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
