This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
