mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
