what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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