Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
