I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
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