She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
