He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
