I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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