You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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