Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
