I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
